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26 Oct 2020

I Am Falling Apart!!! 

I Am Falling Apart!!!

The room is so bright yet I feel so dark inside. Happiness is buzzing all the way yet I find no happiness in my path. I smile. I smile so that people won’t find out I am sad because when they do they ask a lot of questions which I am unable to answer. I don’t know why I feel this way.

I have a happy family, loving friends, and a good life. But I am unhappy. I cannot share my thoughts with my parents because I feel like they won’t understand me. I cant reach up-to my friends because they might be busy. I am surrounded by people, still, I am alone. I am dealing with all the negative thoughts that have ramped up my mind. I tend to think a lot. The world is competitive so to survive I need to work hard. I have a perspective towards my life, a purpose which I need to fulfill, a goal which I need to reach but I can’t take a step further even if I try. I am unable to figure myself out, I am lost here inside my thoughts, I want to break free, I cannot reach up to that door which will lead me out. I am falling apart please help me.

I have a lot of questions, a lot of doubt in me. I feel like I cannot do it, I feel like I cannot mutter that courage up to speak my heart out. I am falling apart slowly. I want to share my thoughts, I wish somebody could help me. My life is getting darker every moment. I cannot think of positive vibes at all even if I try. I want to speak but my voice is unheard. I am screaming yet it’s in my mind. A single sound is hard to be heard from my mouth. I don’t know what is happening to me. I feel like I have no purpose to live, I cannot mend myself. I wish somebody would take me to the real path, help me out of this hell which I have created. I wish somebody was there helping me, staying by side till I feel better. Smiling faces hold the deepest secret. I am fine outside yet I get anxiety. I am getting depressed. I am holding myself hard before I fall apart completely. I think I should end my life before somebody finds out I am having trouble within me. Suicide is all I can think about. Ending my life will be the best because there is no one for me, I am all alone here, nobody understands me. All of them will judge me. I cannot take it now. Nobody will care for me. Will I be missed??

Mental health is important, so is self-love. Let’s reach out to family and friends. Let’s talk. Let’s make time for everyone and check unto them. 1 hour, 1 minute or even a second is enough for changing the perspective of people. Our 1 second can make a lot of difference in another’s life. Let’s speak up for mental health and depression. Our messages or our phone call can make a difference, can save the life of our close ones. Say no to suicide. Every life matters here.

This piece was originally written by Prakriti Bista. You can check her other awesome blog pieces here.

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1 Comment

  1. Denise

    Really well written and insightful. Mental Health is a serious issue, now more than ever with almost everyone stuck at home and alone.These are the things that people are battling within. Props to the writer. Looking forward to pieces like this tackling more issues on a personal level. I would love to read a person’s personal opinion on different topics.

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